Today we hear from 'A View From the Terrace' host Craig Telfer, who gives us the lowdown on his beloved Warriors.
How would you assess your club's 22/23 season so far?
Disappointing, frustrating and miserable. On paper, Stenhousemuir had a squad of players that could challenge for the title and without a turbo-charged upstart like Cove Rangers or Kelty Hearts in League 2, many onlookers felt that a successful season was possible. Instead, the team are hurtling towards the foot of the table after taking just four points from their last eight matches. Stephen Swift was dismissed last week and the club are now searching for a new manager to steady a sinking ship and the priority has since changed from “win the division” to “stay in the division”. It’s been a rotten campaign all in.
Main Man: Favourite current player and why
Adam Corbett. The club’s longest-serving player was converted from a decent central defender to a high-quality full-back and excelled over the latter half of last season. A classy, capable footballer, he chipped in with a number of goals and assists last term, including a neat finish against Forfar Athletic after a lung-bursting run from his own box. He hasn’t quite repeated the same standard of performance this time around, but then no-one really has. Also, his mum and dad often come to the games and are really nice.
What is your earliest memory supporting your club?
Like a lot of local children my age, I got swept up in the Stenhousemuir’s Scottish Cup run of the mid-nineties. My earliest memory might be from an astonishing 4-0 win over St Johnstone in the replayed third-round fixture on a windswept midweek in February 1995. I remember the rain and the floodlights. The Warriors were incredible that evening and, as a child, I thought it would be like this all the time. Boy, was I wrong!
Explain the nickname
(I have no idea where this comes from, nor do the people I canvassed for help.)
Almost Famous – What is your club best known for?
Stenhousemuir perhaps boast some of the most bizarre celebrity supporters on the planet. Michael Palin, the comedian and broadcaster, and Mark Charnock – Marlon in Emmerdale – are notable Warriors but the best, and most inexplicable, is Isiah Whitlock Jr. Whitlock, best known for his role as Senator Clay Davis in The Wire, tweeted his support for the club in November 2020, prompting a wave of curiosity as to why a Hollywood actor would have even heard of, let alone follow, a Scottish minnow like Stenny. Whitlock has been approached numerous times by journalists looking for some explanation but has never been forthcoming. I think I prefer never knowing.
Greatest Gaffer: Your favourite/most loved boss watching your team
A purist might plum for Terry Christie but my favourite Stenhousemuir manager is Des McKeown, who oversaw the championship hopefuls of 2005/06. Bolstered by high-calibre players like Colin Cramb, John-Paul McBride and Paul McGrillen, McKeown’s side were a thrilling prospect and the most exciting group I’ve seen following the club. Despite completing the Third Division season with a club-record points total, problems within the dressing room derailed the campaign and the team finished in third with nothing to show for their efforts.
Can you tell us one interesting fact about your club which other fans may not know?
Stenhousemuir are the least successful side in the SPFL, having never won a league title. There are a handful of promotions over the last 148 years and some terrific cup runs, but that championship remains elusive. Maybe one year!
Who would make your ultimate all-time 5-a-side team?
- Willie McCulloch - The noise of supporters chanting “Willie! Swing on the bar! Willie, Willie, swing on the bar!” was the soundtrack to every Stenhousemuir match. The big goalie, a well-known face around the Scottish lower leagues, was a fine shot stopper who could occasionally make world-class saves.
- Iain Thomson - Every team needs someone like Iain Thomson – committed, enthusiastic and versatile. On the dismal, rainy midweek fixtures, you always wanted someone like Thommo in the middle of the park to be as disruptive and destructive as possible and to give the better players the platform to perform. Thomson was never the sexiest of players but one of the most quietly important.
- Eric “The Big Easy” Paton - The Big Easy had played for Stenhousemuir as a teenager in the late-nineties before returning in 2010 following Dundee’s administration. During his second debut, a victory over Airdrie United, I turned to a friend and said: “I think this guy’s the best player I’ve ever seen at Ochilview”. The deep-lying playmaker galvanised Davie Irons’ team and transformed them from no-hopers into a very capable outfit, scoring and assisting a number of vital goals as the Warriors finished the Second Division season in eighth
- Harry Paton - The teenager, who joined Stenhousemuir on loan from Heart of Midlothian in 2017, was a terrific box-to-box midfielder who, at his best, played like he was wearing ice skates. There was no finer sight than Harry Paton gliding past opponents before sliding in a killer pass – just look as his assist for Mark McGuigan in the play-off win over Queen’s Park!
- Mark “Mr Goals” McGuigan - My all-time favourite Stenhousemuir player. Mark McGuigan scored 23 times in his first season with the club, earning himself the nickname “Mr Goals” and a place in the League 2 Team of the Year 2017/18. A powerhouse striker who could score all kinds of goals, he was the man for the big occasion and netted in blockbuster ties against Queen’s Park, Falkirk, Aberdeen and Waterford.
What is your all-time favourite match?
I was probably too young to fully appreciate the team’s Scottish Cup win over Aberdeen in 1995 or the Challenge Cup final victory against Dundee United later in the year, so I’ll have to say the 4-2 dismantling of Falkirk in the Scottish Cup in November 2018. Two headers from Conor McBrearty, a close-range finish from Sean Dickson and a late strike from Mark McGuigan capped a superb performance but the high point wasn’t the nature of the goals or the outstanding performance – no, it was the sight of a navy-and-white striped scarf being chucked onto the pitch in anger, resignation and disbelief after the fourth.
What should visiting fans make sure they see/do when visiting your club/town?
FK5 is a wonderful place, sure, but there isn’t all that much to do there. Instead, I would encourage all visiting fans to head to the Wee Bar inside the Norway Stand at Ochilview for pre- and post-match pints. You’ll find a warm welcome, cheap booze, satellite television and the chance to discuss the game (and afterwards, the inevitable defeat). The Wee Bar is the definitive hub for all Stenny fans on matchday and as much a part of the experience as the football itself.
What makes your club special to YOU?
Never before have I invested so much emotion into something without getting anything in return as I have with Stenhousemuir, but they’ve well and truly got under my skin. The club is about community and friendship, something that really came into sharp focus during the pandemic when fans were prohibited from attending the ground and football was played in a vacuum. Stenhousemuir also go beyond simply being a football club and are a vital part of the local community and beyond. Everyone associated with the Warriors should be proud of its outreach work.
You can follow Stenhousemuir's progress every week in our SPFL Lower League Round Up - watch the latest edition now!
